Another blog

This is one of the early photos I took of Emma, and one I'm most proud of. Not only is it adorable, which I'm bound by law to say as her father, but I like it as a black and white photo. I wish I had taken more black and white. This doesn't have much to do with my job search, but has a lot to do with the other aspect of this blog, which is how the job hunt affects my time with my daughter. Partly it has by allowing me more time with her, such as the time I took off over Christmas that I might not have had if fully employed.

A great gift I got for Christmas was the Flip Mino, a small camcorder that fits in your pocket and is about as big as a cellphone. After taking too many short videos of our excursions after Christmas, I decided to bore her relatives with them by putting them on the Internet. I've now created Digital Emma, a blog linked to this one where it is mostly videos, along with a few photos and even fewer words, of Emma. I don't plan to devote much time to it, less than 20 minutes a day, as a way for her grandparents and other relatives, to see how she's growing up.

Now, back to work. I wrote two blog posts for WalletPop.com, one which I think is interesting to job applicants everywhere. It's about a short, two-page application for the federal bank bailout, and the five-page job application for a barista in Portland. Look for it online by 8 a.m. Monday at WalletPop, an AOL personal finance Web site I write for.

And with the help of a webmaster I met through this blog, I've added a tagline below to help readers get back to the blog if they only get to this post.

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Preschool Picassos

I washed paint brushes, helped paste new fall leaves to paper, and ate grahamcrackers on Monday morning, and it was more fun than you'd think it would be. It was at Emma's preschool in Walnut Creek (note that the photo above isn't from the preschool, but from our back yard), where I volunteered for a few hours Monday morning. My lovely wife normally does this duty, and last year she did all of it. And she'll probably do most of it this year, due to scheduling problems I have on Monday mornings with a networking group and a part-time job. But with the Columbus Day holiday, this week was different, so I went over and helped out for only about three hours.


Emma had been asking me for a few weeks when I'd come to her preschool for a morning, and I'm glad I finally got to it. It was nice to see her running around and then come up to me with a "Hi, Daddy" before continuing on to play with her friends. While it was a lot of fun and time well spent, it helped prove to me that I'm not up for that kind of full-time job and my hat is off to anyone who does it.


And while it was only a few hours of helping the preschoolers, it was enough of a good time to remind me that something as simple as washing out a paintbrush can be a good way to start a day.

Weekend update

It was a fun weekend, but didn't include much job hunt activity, so I'm feeling a little guilty. I'm also feeling a little guilty about spending so much money on such activities when I'm without an income. At least a full-time income outside of unemployment insurance.

On Saturday, we took our daughter to a wildlife park in Vallejo, buying three season passes and a season parking pass. For only a few dollars more than the cost of admission, you can get a season pass and go the remainder of this year and all of 2009, so the pass will pay for itself after two visit. Such a deal! It was a fun place that I hadn't been to since I was in high school, and Emma had a lot of fun. It's definitely a fun place we will go to again, even if we didn't buy the pass.

Then on Sunday we went to the Oakland Zoo, where we've had a family season pass for two years. Granted, this pass is a lot cheaper than the Vallejo wildlife park, and is also a deal that pays for itself in about three or four visits. Both places are educational, I reason, because of the animals, although Emma would prefer to spend most of the time on the rides.

If I use something often enough, I've always been the type of person who would rather spend more money upfront and save money longterm, instead of buying it again and again. But in this case, without a steady income (from me, not my wife), I wonder if it's an expense I shouldn't have made. In the long term, I see the cost savings and benefit to my daughter and family, but in the short term it feels like I'm spending money I don't have. Thoughts? Please e-mail them to me .

Scream of joy

"Daaaady," came the yell that in the second that it screams out of her mouth can denote fear that something terrible just happened, but in this case didn't. "I just made a 'W.'"

Emma was at a table in the living room, trying to write her friend's name on a piece of paper, while I was in the kitchen making dinner tonight. In the hundredth of a second when I heard her yell my name, my mind raced that something had gone wrong. It was nothing. She had written a letter of the alphabet and was thrilled to share the news. So was I. I went over and congratulated her, kissed her on the head and went back to cooking.

It's moments like those, taking only a few seconds, that make me glad I'm home with my daughter, even if I don't have a job. Granted, the same thing would have likely happened if I returned home from a full-time job, but who knows? But while making dinner for the two of us, because the sole bread-winner is away at work for the night, I was thinking how difficult it is to find a job while taking care of a 4-year-old. Finding a job is supposed to be a 40-hour-a-week job, and lately I haven't been close to that many hours. Everyone has commitments that take away from the job search, but for me, giving my daughter my full attention limits the job hunt. For example, we went to the park, went to the store, then home to wash the car and play some more before making dinner, then her bath, Sesame Street, more playing and story reading before off to bed. My mornings are somewhat free, but I'm using much of that time networking, volunteering or working at my part-time job. Where is the time?

I could prop Emma in front of the TV for a few hours and then go online and work on my resume, apply for jobs, make calls, etc., but I'd feel bad about that. So I'm doing what I can to remind myself to enjoy this time with her and make the best of the time we have together. She's only 4 once, and unemployment won't last into her teens.

More paternity leave

It's great to get letters. I'd like to reply to this letter, attached to the previous post on the Fall season starting:

Anonymous said...
"Sir, I've been paying attention to your blog as an unemployed father making the most of your time w/ your daughter. I have a 1 year old and I've been home w/ him for 5 months now since being laid off. I enjoy almost every moment w/ my son, but realistically I need to get back to work. I'm not too fond of going back into corporate finance, but the bills must be paid. I hope you enjoy your time at home while you can."

Thanks for the kind thoughts. Yes, I'm enjoying the time with Emma, now 4, and do all I can to savor it. When she was 6 months old, I took about five months off from work for paternity leave, and had a great time, although it was very stressful. Not as much stress as I'm experiencing now while looking for full-time work, but being a new dad was a lot of work. I've been out of work for almost three months, which is difficult after working 22 consecutive years with the paternity leave and vacation as my only time off during those years.

The knot in my gut about paying bills, the frustrating job search and interviews that don't progress -- these slowly go away for a few hours while I take care of my daughter. And she seems to be taking it in stride, reminding me that I have a "little job" when I tell her I have to leave to go do some part-time work for United Reporting. It's a few hours a week and money I'm happy to have come into the household. And my search for more part-time work continues.

Someday I'll have to write about the great need for family leave and how America has much more catching up to do in this area with Europe. My wife recently went from working part-time to full-time so we can pay the bills during my unemployment, and when I was fully employed and she was working part-time, I thought she had the much harder job because she was home taking care of the kid all day. Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job that should pay much more in America, or at least as much as it does in Europe. I guess being laid off has turned into an unintended stint of paternity leave.